I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i think i just lost a toe
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
