You're completely useless in the revolution.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
