Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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