I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
