That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
