you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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