Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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