So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
