we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
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found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
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Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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