He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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