I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
40s are totally the cure
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
