Swine flu. Run for my life!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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