Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm going to jail i love you
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
NoShamevember. You game?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
