i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
