I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
