Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
