So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
