Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Of course I have a pirate flag
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
