We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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