Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.