if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.