we're chasing vodka with high fives
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
