Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
