That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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