remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
