we made out on top of his cat.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
