When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
