Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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