I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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