I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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