We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize