and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
