Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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