the day after is always just damage control
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize