Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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