I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
