btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
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I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
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You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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