I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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