What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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