I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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