well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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