YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
