During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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