I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
