3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Randomize
