she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
