Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
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My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize