CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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