So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
