come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
