my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
