i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
