dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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