never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
