I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
