As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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