You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
