i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize